First World Struggles

I live in Canada. I have a university education. I am very fortunate and really can't complain about anything. But, it's human nature to complain about stuff.

My friends and I refer to these complaints as first world struggles.

I think they need to be recorded.

I'm going to post them on my truth and facts blog...

but, here are some examples from yesterday:

"omg, my brand new sunglasses just fell on the ground" - R

"It's just so hard to put my liquor store purchase in this reusable bag" - R

"The security guard in my secure parking lot is sooo grumpy" - C

Reasons I Love Being Canadian; pt.1

Canadian Vampire in London

Oh... Canada - Classified

Canadian Please

Waving Flag - Young Artists For Haiti

Home For a Rest - Spirit of the West

Whose Game They're Playing - Coke Commercial

I am Canadian

Beer! Did you know: In most nations, the labelled alcohol percentage is either the average or maximum percentage allowed. However, most Canadian provinces require the minimum alcohol percentage to be labelled rather than the average... this means while other countries put a max or average (meaning that there could be, or probably is less alcohol than that in the beer), here in canada when we say 5% we mean AT LEAST 5%. I think I'm going to enjoy my beer extra tonight because of that!

For all of the nerdy like to read stuff people: Culture in Canada
It's part of a series which also talks about history, national identity and more.

What other people have to say about Canada:

Pierre Berton, a Canadian journalist and novelist, said: "A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe without tipping it."

British novelist Douglas Adams said each country was like a particular type of person, and "Canada is like an intelligent 35 year old woman".

Andrew Cohen believes that there is a value to considering what foreigners have to say: "Looking at Canadians through the eyes of foreigners, we get a sense of how they see us. They say so much about us: that we are nice, hospitable, modest, blind to our achievements. That we are obedient, conservative, deferential, colonial and complex, particularly so. That we are fractious, envious, geographically impossible and politically improbable."

In defining a Canadian identity, five key distinctive characteristics have been emphasized.

• First, special emphasis is placed upon the bicultural nature of Canada and the important ways in which English-French relations since the 1760s have shaped the Canadian experience.
• Second, Canada had quite a different historical experience in resisting revolution and republicanism compared to the U.S., leading to less individualism and more support for government activism, such as wheat pools and the health care system.[7]
• Third, British parliamentary system and the British legal system, augmented by the conservatism associated with the Loyalists and the pre-1960 French Canadians, have given Canada its ongoing collective obsession with "peace, order and good government".[8]
• Fourth is the social structure of multiple ethnic groups that kept their identities and produced a mosaic rather than a melting pot.[9]
• Fifth, the influence of geophysical factors (vast area, coldness, northness; St. Lawrence spine) together with the proximity of the United States have produced in the collective Canadian psyche what Northrop Frye has called the garrison mind or siege mentality, and what novelist Margaret Atwood has argued is the Canadian preoccupation with survival.[10] For Herschel Hardin, because of the remarkable hold of the siege mentality and the concern with survival, Canada in its essentials is "a public enterprise country." According to Hardin, the "fundamental mode of Canadian life" has always been, "the un-American mechanism of redistribution as opposed to the mystic American mechanism of market rule." Most Canadians, in other words, whether on the right or left in politics, expect their governments to be actively involved in the economic and social life of the nation.[11]

Will the Hot Fire Fighters Come?

Beyonce - Ring the Alarm

This is not a new release video, but it's the current "song of the moment", so deal with it.

I like this song/video cuz it features B getting all ghetto and angry. It's that Number One Diva side mixed with a solid dose of homegirl. Nice. The video itself isn't anything specially. Pretty solid music video material, but nothing spectacular. I kinda enjoy the whole interrogation angle and her getting all up in the grill of some sort of police. I also love the knit long sleeve crop top... reminds me of her circa Destiny's Child. I also like the contrast between her glamoured and sexied up and her with minimal makeup crying. She looks so beautiful, no denying that.
She also gets to try out a nice range of looks throughout the video. This is pretty standard beyonce though. Some are hits and some are misses.

The video is average, but the song makes me feel empowered and gives me a hot swagger when I'm listening to my headphones.

Oh, the name of this post is in reference to the title of the song "ring the alarm" and also there are references to fires and smoke and flames... no hot fire fighters in the video, sad, I know. But I live close to a fire station... so maybe I'll walk past it listening to this song and wearing an awesome outfit later. (by later I mean not today, I'm tired and have to work late)

Insomnia: Gift or Curse?

I've posted a couple things lately that involve some well thought out scenarios involving fame, fortune, famous friends, etc.
I think the reason these things are on my mind is because I don't sleep... okay, so I'm not really that good at sleeping ever, so why right now? I think because I'm working a lot and in an attempt to not sit up and think about work and be stressed all night, I choose to think about fun things. My imagination has a way of filling in details and being very percise. Having a blog has become my way of expressing some of my crazy. I think a lot, about everything. I imagine possibilities, relationships, successes, failures, excitement, apathy... How my brain does this much BLOWS MY MIND. Litterly. Mind is so busy that sometimes I feel like my head might explode.
I just thought I'd explain my crazy a little.

The thing with insomnia is... it's not really that awesome. As a general rule it's not really the most healthy option, but, it does allow me the time I need to live my crazy lives... write crazy blogs that only I really care about... think through impossible situations... the usual.

Fame + Me = Meryl Streep + Lady Gaga

Okay, we're going to start with Math. As much as I dislike the Maths, this equation doesn't have numbers. Just awesomeness.
Fame + Me = Meryl Streep + Lady Gaga
It's science. Fact.

It's no secret that, while I love my day job, I have ambitions of pursuing a career in the field where my degree lies... I want to be an actress! (the last part is best said melodramatically)

But I don't just want fame, I want a Career! I want to work because I love acting and I want to make movies that don't just get tweens in a frenzy. No, I want to make people think. I want my work to have an impact on those who watch it. I want to win an Oscar.

I was talking to my friend Laura about all this. I told her that I wanted to be famous and she said that I would be awesome and super cool like Lady Gaga. I was stoked. That was a total compliment. She told me I would be super focused on my art like her, and able to rock a wicked style. Nice! As we continued talking we both realized that I couldn't be just like Gaga... not that I would want to copy her or anything, but in terms of awesomeness. So we came up with Lady Gaga mixed with Meryl Streep... omg, that is my dream combo of life! Have a hint of that Natalie Portman, went to university and got a degree, mixed in there. Not in tabloids all the time. Somehow mixing the badassness of Gaga and that ability to stand out always and be a true artist, with the respect and talent and hard work that Meryl has for her amazing acting career.
Laura was like "I can totally picture you as that. If you were famous you'd be awesome... and then I'd tell people that I know you." It'd be basically me now, but uber famous with sweet movies and the best closet ever. I'd also totally dip my toes in the music world... not in a 'I want to make a CD' way, but in a 'I want to collaborate and do a song or two with several different awesome artists' (DWW, Drake, Justin Beiber and Drake (cuz that would just be ridiculous) timbaland (everyone does it), Gaga?, basically any Canadian band that I think is awesome and wants to work with me, and then others who also live up to the awesome standards)... I've totally thought this through...

insomnia, gift or curse?

Winning at Life; Reasons why DWW and I should be friends

I have decided that I want to be friends with Down With Webster. Not in a creepy obsessed fan way, but in a they seem like cool guys and I think we'd have awesome times hanging out and winning at life.

Now, I'm used to people being like "sure Stevie, you're insane", but I've totally thought this through. Also, I've often come back to those people after achieving more than they thought I could and being like "no big, this is how I roll." While it may be true that I have an exceedingly overactive imagination, I'm also ambitions and driven and hardworking and believe that these things can get me anything I want... within some sort of reason. I mean, I don't think that if I work hard enough I will be the next president of 'merica. 1, I wasn't born there and 2, well, I don't really want to be president, so that's not the best example. Whatever. The point is I can't think of anything I want out of life that is impossible to achieve with a little hard work and persistence.

So, back to this whole notion, reasons I should make friends with DWW:
They hang out, make sweet music that I enjoy about things like drinking beers and being awesome. Two things that I am exceptionally good at.
Also, hanging out with Seven guys who are total guys is my idea of a good time. Hell, May Long weekend (or May 24) is boys weekend and I'm going camping with 7 boys where we will cook meat over a fire, drink a lot of beers and other alcoholic substances, and be generally awesome.
I rock a keg-stand.
They go do awesome street theatre esq antics which I approve of. Having a theatre degree and often indulging in such behavior for a number of reasons, I think I would definitely enjoy being ridiculous (ridiculously awesome that is) on the streets with these boys.
I find them attractive. While I'm in no way "omg I want to have your babies"... gross, no thanks! I do enjoy the company of attractive people... especially male attractive people. At this point I'm more interested in friends than anything more... I don't know them well enough to make that call.
I love music. I really like their sounds and appreciate a live show with lots of energy. I could totally rock out with them at a show.
They're Canadian.
I'm Canadian.
The two above statements don't really need to be explained, but I'm going to because this is MY blog, and I do what I want. As you may or may not know, I have a soft spot for Canadian celebrities, bands, boys, people... It's just this intrinsic connection based on the unique cultural things that make us from the true north a little different. We can bond over our increased heart rates during playoff games (Hockey... obviously... like I said, Canadian). Drink awesome Canadian beer and indulge in other things that are associated with Canada, especially my home province. Be polite to strangers. Have the type of sense of humour where we all think we're funny (we are, btw) and we're okay with our nationality being the butt of a joke. Bond over the cold temperatures and small towns we have all endured. Not worry about going to the doctor when we're sick and high five about our health care. Accept people of all backgrounds. Drink more beer... I love my country!

A friend told me I can make this happen with my awesome networking skills. I liked her vote of confidence, so I've brainstormed a couple possibilities to make this happen.
So, either:

• My ambition of a kick ass acting career pans out and I get my people to call their people and we hang out.
• I get a job coordinating some sort of music festival (let's be honest, I'd be awesome at it and this is probably one of the more plausible scenarios).
• Through the magic of twitter or facebook, it just happens.
  They read this blog... I might have a better chance at fame, but who knows!
• I put my magic skills to work and somehow know someone who knows someone who knows my awesomeness and BAM! Friends.
• Randomness. Picking up some Starbucks or something on a non significant and it's like "hey. you seem exceedingly awesome." "Thanks, you seem like DWW... wanna be friends?" "For Sure!"
• I write them a letter that goes something like this "Dear Down With Webster, My name is Stevie. You seem like pretty cool guys. We should be friends. Let me know when you want to go get a beer and hang out. xo Stevie" (I think this is an excellent method)
• Something else happens...

So, I'm not sure if any of this makes sense, or if you're on the "you're crazy" train. Either way, I'm just saying, we'd make awesome friends, and it's not impossible.

How To: Be good at construction workers

I'm good at construction workers. Fact.

Let me explain.

So, with work we were planting a bunch of new plants to make the residence at UofS look nicer. We start digging holes in the flower beds, only to find the top soil is only about 3 inches deep. Not a good thing.
But! Nearby they are completely re landscaping one of the fields. There is piles of dirt everywhere. One of the staff gets asked to go ask them for some dirt, and I get nominated to go with her. Because of my position title and my blondness. At this point I don't really know what the mission is, all I know is:
"Stevie, come ask the construction workers with me."
"Okay, I'm good at construction workers... for what?"

For a backhoe scoop of dirt of course! So, I take a minute, think through how I'm going to approach this. Professional but attractive and in need of assistance.

We get to the construction workers. They're closer to my father's age than my own, but I don't mind... it just means I won't be leaving with a phone number, but that's not the goal of this mission.
A formal introduction, a sweet smile, big blue eyes and please and thank you and they'll bring down dirt in just a minute. I get winked at and give a coy smile in return.
A couple minutes later a large scoop of dirt is brought right to us and they want to know if that's enough. Do we need more? We're good, and we thank them and tell them we'll bring them coffee. They seem pretty pleased with themselves for helping us out. Really, I'm not getting a favour, I'm doing one.

So, the following day the staff member and I return to the construction site with a tray of coffee from Tim Hortons. They seem surprised; I don't think that promise was ever expected to be followed through on. But I'm good at this game. And I'm thoughtful and like being nice to people.
Smiles, thank yous, and coffee handed over, we leave, very aware that if we want anything from these construction workers over the next month, all we have to do is smile and say please and it's ours. You see, while we didn't need to bring them coffee, it solidified their love of us. And that is more than work the time and effort to bring them warm beverages. Win.

Musings on Domestication

Since I keep posting music videos and then talking about them, I've decided to make it a thing. My best friend told me that I should be a critic, so, in my own way I suppose, that's what I'm doing.

Today: Miley Cyrus - Can't Be Tamed

Today's victim... featured video... thingy...

So, first things first. I'm not a Miley fan. I'm not anti her. I don't wish ill on her or anything, I'm just not that into her. I think that's fair. Fact being, she's 17 and worked for Disney; I'm older than that, work for a University, have a contemporary art degree, love heavy metal... we have different tastes.
On that note, she's 17. I have a hard time with her being sexy in this video. Not in a "she's a minor and that's wrong", but rather in a "she look sexy sure, but has the awkwardness inherent to her youth that kills the video." Yes, she's under 18, so some people might have appropriate issues, but, to be honest, I don't find this scandalous, it's "sexy", but it ain't got nothing on the last 2 videos I posted. I'll reserve my judgements on her in general in terms on scandalizing and appropriateness for another time and place. It's not the issue at hand.
The issue at hand is this video. Let's start from the beginning... The intro. That's really the thing to do right now. It seems like all the cool kids are doing it. That's fine. I think it can be an excellent story telling device. This intro in particular is a little long I thought. And the snarling sound affects when Miley first looks up. Kinda terrifying. No lies.
Once the song gets started, I'm actually fairly fond of it. I really like the aesthetics of this video. The darkness. The Gothic look, the wings. It's pleasing to me. The fact that our Miley isn't wearing heels makes her lack of pants way less signalized. Good call on her part there... or the stylist... or her Dad said no heels, or whatever. My biggest problem with the costuming is the feathers on her hands. Holy crap they annoy me. They're just so... heinous. Bare hands would've been better all around. Really, they irritated me so much it almost ruined the who look for me. I even liked her make up. The hair was a little trashy, but it worked with the whole look... but feather hands. There are some things I'm not okay with.
There was two looks in the video, which was nice and simple... or at least simpler. I liked the contrast from the darker look to the more fresh and colourful peacock look. My issue with the peacock was that she was so obviously not allowed to move, combined with her teenage-ness, it was a bit awkward to watch her lay there. There was a little with the chest touching... but with those crazy claws and the not being able to move cuz of the bed of feathers, it look more like a "where do I put my hand" as opposed to a "look at my breasts" move. I liked her make up, fresher, sweeter, mixed it up. The scaly dress was even pretty okay. But the entire package falls short for me there.
Let's get to the dancing. Miles... not a trained dancer. But the group dances are still cool. The overall costuming and the other dancers, they all make it better. I must say, I love the "sexy orgy dance" bits. Very Britney. But also because of Miley's face. She looks so pissed. I'm not sure if she was going for angry of fierce and sexy, but the naughty sex appeal that that type of dance could evoke was totally nullified by the "I'm going to cut a bitch" facial expressions. This actually pleases me to no end.
Finally, the ending. I actually really like to closing image. It was powerful and appropriate. I know right? This is positively glowing really.
As for the song itself, nothing special, catchy, some over usage of auto tune.

But, for a not fan, I rather liked it all in all.

In the end though, my sentence for Ms.Cyrus: Either stick with catchy pop tune and movies for a tween audience, or, take a break. put on some pants. Finish highschool. Go to University (not college), learn some stuff about the world. Live in a dorm. Get an education. And, after that, maybe you will be ready to be taken seriously and to seriously work. I think you have the potential. Just need some figuring out life not in the spotlight time...
Also, if, in two weeks I want to stab myself every time this video come on much music (I don't sleep and know all the infomercials... much at 2 am it is!) I'm going to re sentence you.

The Day UofS Stopped Loving Me

So, no big deal, but I'm kinda a big deal. Someone got told they could be "the next Stevie". How awesome do I feel. I'm also the posterchild. Like I said, not a big deal. But, today was a less than loved by the world of UofS day. Sigh.

Also, as prementioned, UofS stands for University of Stevie. As opposed to sharing my true location... (those of you who are clever will figure it out, and then UofS is even more clever on my part. I refuse to explain)

Let's do this in an organized way. There are three main things:

1. Phone book
2. position appointment form
3. convocation speaker

1. First thing first. I was looking up some people I needed to contact in the SFU online phonebook. Handy Dandy document. And for funsies I decided to look up myself (who has never googled themselves?). And what do I find? Well!
"Steve LASTNAME" and I still work in DEPARTMENTIHAVEN'TWORKEDININAYEAR and have a totally random phone number. No one will be able to contact me, but, on the brightside, my alter ego is a super handsom man who works with student leaders and puts on awesome programs for a living. So, that story has a bright side. I mean, I totally made up the alter ego, and plan on expanding that further...

2. So, I know I kinda have a boys name... except for the i, but people... anyway, my boss gave me a copy of my forms saying that I offically am getting paid for this new job I started doing, anyway, I look, and it says Stephanie (Stevie). I was like "hell no". I mean, Stephanie is a lovely name. I have a really good friend named Stephanie, it's just not my name. There is a story there, but I was still like "bitch please. UofS, I thought we talked about this".
Apparently not.

3. I really wanted to be convocation speaker. I got nominated a bunch. They didn't pick me. I actually felt sad (which is a big deal, I don't like feeling feelings, cuz I think they're gross).

And thus the day that UofS decided that we were no longer soulmates came and went.
Sigh.

So Uninspired (I didnt even title this at first, that uninspired)

I am so uninspired.

There is nothing in my life that I am doing right now that I am truly passionate about.

How sad is that?

I'm feeling like it's all just a series of let downs... so how's this for something with meat following two "check out these music videos with scantly clad women"? In the words of the lovely Tori Amos "what's so amazing about really deep thoughts?"

I'm not sure I know what I want to make of this blog. I think I just need to share my thoughts with the world, even if no one is reading them.

I'm having a "what's the point" mental break at the moment. I was feeling really good about things yesterday... maybe just being tired and being rejected (more details in my upcoming post entitled The Day UofS* Stopped Loving Me) and being hungry. I'm craving sugar. Balls.

I am enjoying this whole "blogging" thing. I don't know if I'm any good at it, or if ANYONE reads this. But whatevs.

Also, it's a new day, and I'm way less bitter today. I drank lots of coffee.

Also, this is tagged as a Rant... it's more light Rant Light. No Vampire Rant level ranting... but more than just some thoughts.

*UofS is University of Stevie... what if I get super famous from my awesome blog and people want to stalk me?

Why Don't You Love Me?

So, more on the fun videos being released. Beyonce takes fierceness and sexiness to a whole new level:

I like her choice in this video. The last two videos she's done have been very digitally produced songs with Lady Gaga (don't get me wrong, love the Gaga), but it was a nice contrast to see the grainy, aged quality to this video. I also really enjoy the simplicity and the fact that it was just Beyonce. Following up Telephone needed to be something totally different. The story line, the characters, the style of costumes, everything is Telephone, while epic, could have easily gotten old quick if B didn't mix things up.
Going for the 50's pin-up / housewife in lingerie look was also a sexy, in a totally different way, choice. Even her voice and the style of the song was reminiscent of Dianna Ross and The Supremes. The details were all there. Even the scenes of her in the hotel room, drinking a martini, smoking and crying are some how just such an iconic sex symbol of the past. She's got the strong but needed - innocent, but definately not - vibe going on. And she's working it.

I think she's a babe, and often comes off as a total Diva, and this video holds true to form. But she's also a talented lady, and I adore the aethetics of this video and think she made some clever choices.

And I want the wardrobe... especially all of those shoes...

Don't worry B, I love your pin-up glamour in this video and the way you always keep it sexy and mix it up. Enjoy boys and girls.

Beyonce - Why Don't You Love Me

Well Then! Who are you?

So, x-tina has a new video. And there is lots of DRAMA surrounding it. So fun, but so silly! My thoughts and need to share my ramblings are below.

Definitely some Lady Gaga, but also Gwen, Madonna and more... I'd be flattered; it wasn't offensive stealing of looks. I, personally, felt it was more a tribute and amalgamation of some fantastic pop icons/divas.
I am bias on the Christina front. That being said I love me some Gaga and Madonna, and definitely some Gwen. Also, a lot of these looks are "in" at the moment.
Maybe I think it's silly, but what would so many people do if they didn't have celebrity cat fights (real or fabricated) to read about?
ALSO - it's called "not myself tonight"... am I the only one who thinks that this whole "she's dressing/looking like other people" thing is actually quite ironic and funny? And, I'd like to think that publicists and stylists and managers get paid for a reason, maybe intentional?
I must say there are some looks / parts in this video that I'm not as keen on. The gag... I dunno, doesn't do it for me. The pouring of the black... paint? Latex? whatever... super hot. And Christina has often been a little on the overt side with her sexuality, which is cool, she's never tried to hide or lied about it, which I appreciate. There is always something a little dark, and sexy, going on with her. I'm intrigued!
I must admit, the song itself isn't the best showcase for those amazing pipes she posses, and the depth of the lyrics aren't a the same level as "Beautiful", but I still liked it.
I do not approve of the product placement shot. It was poorly done. If it had started with that shot, and, in the same shot her hand came and grabbed the perfume, then cut to her spraying herself it would have been much better. But it was just a crappy choppy insert. Fail at product placement. That style only works if you're Lady Gaga in Telephone and it's more of an overt statement than actually product placing.
And, besides, who doesn't love some sexy controversy?
Anyway, if you are fond of overt sexuality and the sass of the "dirty girl", enjoy: Christina Aguilera - "Not Myself Tonight".

Truth and Facts

Recently I was having a random argument with a friend. She said I was "lame sauce" because I couldn't make a film screening due to work. I told her that I was infact delicious sauce. We argued, she told me I made no sense. To prove that I was right, I told her it was on the internets, because we all know that only the truth is put on the internet, right?!?!
Anyway, thus the birth of truth and facts; ways in which stevie is awesome came to pass. Everything on said page is the truth, based on pure science. fact.

The moral of my story is: if you're arguing with a friend, send them a link that proves you right. No one can argue with cold hard facts.

being a grown up makes me tired

So... tired...
You know those days, when you're inexplicably exhausted?
And you sit at work, staring at your computer, willing it to just do your work for you, but it's all "then you won't learn anything. If I do your work, they don't need to pay you."
Shut up computer. Stop being mean and logical at the same time. You're just like math.
Your to do list is just getting longer and you wish you could just add "nap and drink tea" because you'd be all over crossing that one off. But no, the motivation to actually do stuff in nonexistant.
So you blog. Cuz that seems productive, but really it's just you complaining and not feeling guilty about it. You don't have to read my blog. You don't have to read it. I'll feel bad if I complain to all my friends about how I have a sweet job and have to go to it and stuff.
But then halfway through your blog post you get tired and check facebook for a while. Maybe read about Justin Beiber on the internet for a bit and think about how much fun you'd have baby sitting him. Getting ice cream. Making him sing for you. Texting your friends during his nap time.
Not weird, right?
Tina Fey made it okay. So now I don't have to feel guilty.
Then you get bored with justifying random thoughts, so you stare at your blog for a bit. Decide that this is basically a post, and resign yourself to actually doing some work.
Yeah, this is one of those days.

Number One

So.

This is me, starting a blog. Because. Well, it seemed like a good idea. I like to write stuff. I like to think I'm funny. I might actually be. I think I just need a place to share my ramblings. You don't have to agree or like anything I say. You can read it, or you can not. But here it is:

Oh, and the name. I think it's clever, but not too clever. I like that. My first association is with Steak... as in a delicious slab of red meat... so good. I love my meat. The second is to do with the vampire craze... I will vent about vamps at some point, but for right now, I'll just say I'm on Team Buffy. And last but not least, raising the steaks, as in high steaks, as in action films, gambling and car chases. It makes me feel bad ass. Also, I grew up on a bison ranch, so, on another literal plane of raising (rearing) the steaks, as in delicious meat.

Basically, I live a glamour filled, high risk, vampire slaying life, then come home and eat steak. And I don't pretend to make and sense.

If you've read this far either we're friends, we should be friends, cuz you actually enjoy my ramblings, or your job is really boring.

enjoy!

I demand better vampires.

That is, I used to really be into them, until they got all popular and un-vampy. There was something about the mystery, the darkness, the evil. I was into it.



I must admit, I am not a teenage girl, but I maintain that the best part about vampires is the EVIL. And the most attractive part is the “I’m amazing, live forever, and think the end of the world sounds fun… wanna go kill some people?” attitude. So sexy. (see boys, acting like you don't care about stuff, you're just living your life, being awesome, not looking for our approval. We approve. kinda hot.)
Just saying. They’re not supposed to have souls. I don’t understand moping vamps… they’re not supposed to feel anything but hungry… and pleased with their evilness. I am not into the emo / hipster look for the Vamps. They should rock the evil killer look. Not “I have feelings and am awkward and can’t make conversation”. You’ve had hundreds of years of practice, you should be AWESOME at small talk. You're not an awkward 15 year old boy, you're 300 and still rocking a hot body. You should be able to run shit and talk any 16 year old out of their panties, and, inevitably, their life. Just saying. I would.

Apparently I need to vent.

I feel like they should be less awkward, because they don’t care about what people think… that would require a heartbeat and a soul. That “I get to live forever and am superior” attitude is the basis of their sex appeal.

Another thing: Vampires are not all good looking… just the truly evil / powerful / popular ones. They are basically like mean girls, except better at it, and all the time. But they have ugly thug vamps too.

moving on to some cultural references from the '90s

I would make an excellent vampire. If I ever play a vampire, please let it be an Evil character! One that kills for fun and likes seeing the others suffer. I was just watching Angel (PS - Angel is the original mopey, not evil vampire… but he’s still hot, cuz he went evil for a while, and the only reason he’s not evil is because he was cursed, and has his soul back. It’s not like he decided one day that he would stop killing people and be a good person… er… vampire) anyway, and the evil vampire was all like “the fear makes your blood sweeter”. Oddly kinda hot.

Also, Spike. Love Spike… even when he got the chip in his brain he was an asshole. Love that.

Okay, random rant… is it going somewhere? Possibly. I just felt like sharing my modern day vampire disappointments.

This is why I love Buffy. Not only a sweet show, but the Vamps are the bad guys. They look like all kinda of people. The leaders are usually more attractive (just like real life) but the vampires in general look like normal people. Some are attractive, some really are not. They are just vampires. They like to kill, they’re evil. Direct sunlight = burst into flames (I want to stab that bitch that decided that looking like a toddler who ingested glitter just threw up on your face was the best way to deal with vampires and sunlight), steak to the heart = dust, crucifix and holy water = burning of skin, and repels them. OR you can cut their head off. Also a fan of that. Decapitation is just SO badass!

Do you agree thus far?

Also, vampires should be stylish as hell. They can steal things whenever they feel like it… super strong, immortal, no morals. Either they rock the classic black and sharp look. Oh, and fitted. or they rock the “I died in this area, so I still wear clothes from it, just the most bad ass ones though”. Also, I kinda like the “stuck in the 80s” vamps in Buffy… but they are rarely a big shot. So, note, vampires that go anywhere with their evil careers often dress better than those who do not. Maybe I should start a vampire fashion blog and track this… oh right! They’re MADE UP.

Dammit.

There goes my alternate plan to deciding about jobs at a post secondary institution. (either become an evil undead tyrant, or blog about their clothing).

Sigh. I suppose fame and fortune remains the back up plan in this case.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. I’d like to see Spike beat the shit out of Edward Cullen. And then watch Buffy kick Bella’s ass. OR other other way around… that might be even more amusing. Besides. Buffy would DESTROY… well… all of them.

and then Buffy staked Edward. The End.

But, back to the awkward brooding. I wonder if they blame their parents for how hard their lives are, or if they blame their sire? (ie, upper middle class emo kids… you kinda have everything. Give your little sister back her jeans and eye liner and be grateful and smile… stop crying and writing crappy poetry.)

You're undead. You’re stronger than other people. You live forever. You don’t feel bad about stuff. You’re attractive and members of the opposite sex totally dig you. And, on account of being dead, you win the sex game. You cant knock anyone up and you don't have STI's... they need to be sustained by life people, vampires do not have life therefor can have all kinds of crazy unprotected sex without any consequence. How awesome is that? All the pleasure, none of the risk!!

And stop moping about not being accepted and have a snack… oh, and there isn't even slayers and righteous heroes hunting you these days. GET OVER YOUR UNDEAD SELF. That’s another thing. Why are you so hipster and sad all the time? It’s not like you’re being hunted by a worthy foe? Sometimes a human gets it in their head to try and dust you, but that’s like having dinner delivered. It just comes right to you. So handy.

This vegetarian vampire thing just makes no sense. I struggle with the thought of giving up red meat... and I have a soul. What if it was the only thing I could eat, and it made me crazy strong, and I was unable to feel bad about the whole killing thing.

I don’t know if I am pale enough to play a vampire. Sigh. Well, there is always the makeup department I suppose…

I just want to rule the world.

That is all.

Welcome to my mind; a brief chat with a friend

So, now that I've decided to start a blog...

I love blogs. I think they can be awesome. I think I'm awesome. I went to university. I don't want to be a real adult.

To start my blog (for real this time?) I will post a conversation I was having over a msn style messaging system at the time I made the decision to start this blog. You may or may not find it amusing. Mostly it's random. Welcome to my mind.

G: hows the day going thus far

me: pretty good

me: busy busy

me:I'm tired and my brain is shutting off, but I've gotten a lot done

G:got some solid jess messaging in?

(Note - Jess is my best friend. We both have Blackberrys and BBM ENDLESSLY. It is awesome.)

me:not so much

me:I woke up to one about it being cold in the morning and then warm in the day so she takes too much clothing to work

(This makes more sense when you know she lives in Ontario and I live in BC... Time Difference)

me:then I told her I made a bad sock choice and they keep falling down

me:and she said that makes her feel like a kid

me:then I left her a "how's tuesday"

me:and that's all

G:those bad sock choices can fully ruin a day

me:totally

G:I hate when I forget ankle socks and then wind up going to the gym

me:also, we phone dated for about an hour and a half last night

me:also that

(in reference to forgetting ankle socks. It sucks. Then you look like a nerd at the gym. You might as well just go cry yourself to sleep. This way you skip dinner and the crying is a good ab work out, so really it is a just as good if not a better work out / weight loss strategy. Also, saves you from looking like a nerd at the gym. FACT)

me:I have many mixed feelings about socks

me:how has your day been?

G:well your socks are generally mixed anyway

G:its been ok, just been prepping a lot of binders for some event

me:they oddly match

(my socks. They almost never match. I have reasons.)

me:maybe that's the mistake

G:"I made a mistake"

(just like from Pineapple Express... now this whole section makes sense. From when Seth Rogan is on the phone and is all "I love you" and she's like "let's get married" or something and he realizes that was not a good choice. It was a mistake. Look it up on youtube if you don't get the reference. In fact: go to there now and then come back.)

me:we watched that on friday

G:im jealous

G:although not really as my friday was awesome

me:you should be jealous

G:nope too bad

me:fun fact. Jess just started messaging me.

G:G says a warm tuesday welcome

me:she says hi

G:sweet, my tuesday has been made*

*"G" (6 letters, unusual male name, starts with G. Not Gregor.) Is the Ted Mosby of our group of friends. **

**I will make a lot of random references. Deal with it.