The Day UofS Stopped Loving Me

So, no big deal, but I'm kinda a big deal. Someone got told they could be "the next Stevie". How awesome do I feel. I'm also the posterchild. Like I said, not a big deal. But, today was a less than loved by the world of UofS day. Sigh.

Also, as prementioned, UofS stands for University of Stevie. As opposed to sharing my true location... (those of you who are clever will figure it out, and then UofS is even more clever on my part. I refuse to explain)

Let's do this in an organized way. There are three main things:

1. Phone book
2. position appointment form
3. convocation speaker

1. First thing first. I was looking up some people I needed to contact in the SFU online phonebook. Handy Dandy document. And for funsies I decided to look up myself (who has never googled themselves?). And what do I find? Well!
"Steve LASTNAME" and I still work in DEPARTMENTIHAVEN'TWORKEDININAYEAR and have a totally random phone number. No one will be able to contact me, but, on the brightside, my alter ego is a super handsom man who works with student leaders and puts on awesome programs for a living. So, that story has a bright side. I mean, I totally made up the alter ego, and plan on expanding that further...

2. So, I know I kinda have a boys name... except for the i, but people... anyway, my boss gave me a copy of my forms saying that I offically am getting paid for this new job I started doing, anyway, I look, and it says Stephanie (Stevie). I was like "hell no". I mean, Stephanie is a lovely name. I have a really good friend named Stephanie, it's just not my name. There is a story there, but I was still like "bitch please. UofS, I thought we talked about this".
Apparently not.

3. I really wanted to be convocation speaker. I got nominated a bunch. They didn't pick me. I actually felt sad (which is a big deal, I don't like feeling feelings, cuz I think they're gross).

And thus the day that UofS decided that we were no longer soulmates came and went.
Sigh.